8. 26. 2020 @ 0017
“Accepting sadness and moving on” was the original title for this post and is what helped me re-generate my thoughts from when I first initially had this thought a couple of days ago, but I decided to change it.
I used to hold onto feelings of sadness for days. If I was upset about something, I would stick to my phone 24/7 to help me get rid of certain thoughts or sometimes, hold onto them because… I don’t know.
When I was younger, I turned to unhealthy methods of coping with my feelings of sadness, but nowadays as an ~almost adult~ I think I’ve found different ways of helping myself relieve sad feelings.
One of the ways is to accept and acknowledge the feelings I have. They may not be good feelings, but they are feelings that must be acknowledged. I’m not sure why, but I feel like when I was growing up, I always had the impression that people should always be happy or strive to be happy. But I don’t agree with that.
If I’m always happy, I’ll never truly cherish real moments of happiness. If I’m in a sad situation, but I force myself to think positively or completely ignore my feelings, I’ll be even more confused of my current mental state. So then if and when something good happens, I don’t really know how to accept it. My mind is kind of confused, and I often become cold because unconsciously, I’m having all these negative feelings, so physically I don’t want to express happiness.
Does that even make any sense?
I know, it’s not easy. A lot of the time, these negative thoughts are… uncontrollable. But with practice, I’ve been able to much more… rationally? Accept whatever feelings I have. And move on. Because when you think about it, whatever you’re going through right now, is not going to last for eternity most likely. Well, I can’t speak for someone else, but for me, I’ve come to realize that nothing is permanent. No feelings or situations are going to last a lifetime. So if nothing is permanent, why put in unnecessary effort to make bad feelings last longer to feel like they are an eternity?
And then there are times when I cannot accept my sad feelings and just want to be sad for a while.
When this happens, I make sure to recognize the things that do make me happy.
Like being able to eat this pink cupcake. Or going outside for a breather. Maybe watching a clip of my favorite celebrities.
But I make sure not to go too far, like only eating ONE cupcake and spending no more than thirty minutes on Youtube.
If I don’t recognize my happy and good feelings, then I’ll go into the black hole of sadness… and I don’t want to go there.
I need to have some balance.
That is all I have today for this thought, until next tiiiiimmmmmme ❤
a Sunday thought 