01. 07. 21 @ 0130
I got angry today. On a whole different level of anger. It’s still fresh and my mind and body feel empty right now.
For the first time in my 20 (now soon turning 21 – pretty exciting gotta say) years of life, I made myself involved in my parent’s fight. I could not stand to see them being mad at each other anymore and felt myself getting scared and anxious.
But I decided that for my own sake, and for my parents sake, that I would get involved and try stopping it.
Here’s what happened – I ended up getting even more angry than both of my parents that they couldn’t do or say anything.
It was an unbelievable kind of anger. I was screaming at the very top of my lungs. To the point where I even questioned myself while screaming,
“Am I going to lose my voice when I say these next few words…”
Thankfully I didn’t.
I also realized that when I am very, very angry, I start getting angsty and do little jumps. I think it’s because I’m so mad, I want to express it physically, but don’t know how. So I do little jumps while flailing my arms. You get the image.
my mom started laughing at some points.
my cat also started to meow little by little after each comment I made and even made visits to both my mom and dad to see how they were doing, but never stayed with one. that would be unfair.
As of now, I feel empty. I can’t feel much emotion. Maybe that’s also from all the crying. Thankfully, I didn’t bawl out today, only tears.
But I don’t feel good. I don’t like the feeling I have now. I don’t know what it is and I don’t know how to resolve it.
How do you resolve anger?
also, if you’re wondering, the actual argument never got resolved.
Until next time,,
a Sunday thought 